I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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