Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
