the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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