are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
