i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
