i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
