This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
