I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize