Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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