Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Randomize
