I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
