Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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