he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
