im drinking this country out of the recession.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize