she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
