Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
