I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
