a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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