i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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