I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
