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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!

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• (207): View more from Maine

  He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date

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