she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
