My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I did not marry a roomba.
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