What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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