great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
