I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
