Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
