That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Randomize
