yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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