white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
