I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just invented taco cereal.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
