my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
