Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
