I hate all girls vehemently.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
