barbara walters just said penis...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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