I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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