Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
