I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
