Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
