im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
