apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
