Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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