My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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