his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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