the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
