Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
