im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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