Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This is the third time this month a guy Iām not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize