Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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