At least make sure they are 18
Why
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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