he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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