you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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