Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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