I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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