it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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