I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
