She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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