So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
