My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
