I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
