If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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