i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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