i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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