So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Be still, my beating vagina.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
